THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE

A friend once told me there are basically two kinds of people.  The “Here I am!” kind and the “There you are!” kind.  Which one are you?

Hopefully, today’s Mindful Monday post will help you identify the positive and negative aspects of each to learn where you may fall on the spectrum.  We also need to ask ourselves what kind of person God wants us to be.

“HERE I AM!”

You know when a “Here I am!” person walks into a room.  Everybody knows.

Whether it is a loud and boisterous greeting, a perfectly timed joke or remark, or sophisticated air of mystique, these people instinctively know how to make an entrance.

Usually fun and friendly, they are the life of the party and love to be seen and heard. Continual seekers of the spotlight, other people are attracted to them like moths to a flame.

Hanging out with a “Here I am” person can be invigorating, exciting, and unpredictable.  Fueled by the need for attention and prone to taking risks to get it, there are very few dull moments.

However, there is a downside to this type of personality.  Since there is only one focal point for a “Here I am” person (“I” being the operative word), others are relegated to circle their orb at a safe distance.  Getting too close to the sun can be dangerous.

Self-focused and often unintentionally insensitive, this kind of person may struggle with showing empathy.  While they truly enjoy being around other people, they are limited in their capacity to connect on a deep level.

How do you know if you exhibit some of the traits of a “Here I am!” kind of person?

Ask yourself these simple questions (and be honest!):

• Do I want to be noticed when I walk into a room?
• Do I talk more than I listen?
• Do I sometimes do crazy things to get attention?
• Is it hard for me to put myself in another person’s shoes?
• Do I like hanging out with people that make me feel smarter/funnier/prettier/richer?

If you answered “yes” to three or more of these questions, you may be a “Here I am!” kind of person.

“THERE YOU ARE!”

It may take you awhile to figure out that a “There you are!” kind of person is in the room…unless you are the one they have found.

Because once they set sights on you and lock in, you feel like you are the only person on the planet. That is why the exclaim with pure delight when they see you, “There you are!”

These personality types know how to make another human feel special, noticed, and valued.  Genuinely interested in others, “There you are!” people ask thoughtful questions, listen intently, and have a keen aptitude for empathy.

Connection and intimacy are paramount for this type of person;  they would rather spend an evening having a meaningful conversation with one person instead of trying to greet everyone in the room.

Could there really be any negative aspects to being a “There you are!” kind of person?  Not if you are on the receiving end of their attention and encouragement!  However, there are some precautions you need to take if you find yourself leaning toward this end of the spectrum.

What are your motives for seeking out other people?

Consider your answers to these questions (again, brutal honesty is required!):

• Am I asking questions because I really care or because I like to have information?
• Am I truly empathizing or does knowing the struggles of others make me feel better about myself and my life?
• Am I listening because I want to help or because I want to be needed?
• Do I purposely withhold sharing about myself to get attention (often assuming the martyr role)?
• Do I try to notice everyone or just those people who I think are worthy of my time and attention?

Making other people feel seen, heard, noticed and valued is an admirable trait.  However, it is always helpful to take a step back and examine your motives.  Being a “There you are!” person really has to be about other people and not you.

WHICH KIND SHOULD YOU BE?

You probably saw traits of yourself in both kinds of people, didn’t you?  I know I did.  I think it is safe to assume there is a pretty wide spectrum between the two, and most of us fall somewhere in between. It may also be situational, right?

There are times, depending on the crowd and my mood, I can definitely burst into a room, meeting, or event with a bold and brash, “Here I am!” attitude.  Eager and energetic, I am full of confidence and willing to “work the room.”  It is not always a bad thing to want to be seen and heard.

On other occasions, I am more deliberate and thoughtful, intentionally seeking out those people who may need a smile, hug, or a listening ear.  I am content to hang back and really get to know a few people well.

Here AT THE CROSSROADS, our goal is to connect our faith with our lives, and Mindful Mondays provide an opportunity for us to intentionally and purposefully seek out God’s answers to some of these tough questions.

The ubiquitous phrase “What would Jesus do?” actually applies quite well in this situation.

Was Jesus a “Here I am!” kind of person when He lived and walked on this earth or does the Bible more accurately describe him as a “There you are!” type?

I have pondered this question all week.  And the answer is not as simple as I first thought.

In Exodus 3 when Moses asks God what he should call him, God replies, “I AM WHO I AM.” (Exodus 3:13-15).  I suppose this might put God in the “Here I am!” category, but we need to be careful when comparing human and divine traits.   God’s “Here I am!” announces His existence and presence as well as His power and authority over all creation.  I am reassured by a God who announces himself as “I AM,” aren’t you?

However, when we look at the life and ministry of Jesus, the Bible definitely reveals him as a “There you are!” personal, relational God who came to seek and save the lost (Luke 19:10).  Jesus focused most of his time and energy on people who had never been seen, noticed, or valued: the poor, the sick, the widow, the lame, the prisoner, and the sinner.  When Jesus looked on a person with compassion and mercy, He was saying, “There you are!  I see you, I know you, and I came to save you.”

To be seen by Jesus was to have your life changed forever.

And it is the same with you and me today.  I hope you know with absolute certainty that when Jesus looks at you, He bursts with pride and exclaims, “THERE YOU ARE!” And that should enable us to do the same for others.

Take some time to ponder that amazing thought on this Mindful Monday.  Let it also help guide and inform you into becoming the kind of person God wants you to be!

Special note:  Today’s post is dedicated to my dear friend, Billie, a wise godly woman who is like a big sister to me.  She is the one who not only taught me about the two kinds of people in this world but faithfully modeled what it looked like to be a “There you are!” kind of person.