Is inner beauty spiritual and outer beauty selfish? This unspoken belief has caused me much confusion and conflict as a Christian woman. I think I have believed it for years without overtly acknowledging it. But why? What does the Bible say? Are inner and outer beauty mutually exclusive? Does God elevate inner beauty and dismiss outer beauty? Let’s do a deep dive into these issues and find out!
WHAT SOCIETY SAYS ABOUT OUTER BEAUTY
We live in a culture that not only emphasizes outer or physical beauty but is obsessed with it. This obsession has led to unhealthy and distorted ways of thinking about beauty–especially among women.
You only need to look at magazines, social media, TV commercials, and advertisements: Outer physical beauty (and society’s unrealistic standard of it) is used to sell, promote, and influence almost every aspect of our lives.
It seems as if the primary agenda of forcing these idealized and unattainable images of outer beauty onto us is to create a level of dissatisfaction regarding our overall looks to keep us running back and spending money for more advice, products, and ridiculous solutions to how to achieve this impossible beauty ideal.
The beauty industry is a multibillion-dollar enterprise that presents us with perfect images and the products we need to achieve this unattainable standard of perfection.
Here are some startling statistics on beauty from Dove Research:
- Only 4% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful
- Only 11% of girls globally are comfortable using the word beautiful to describe themselves
- 72% of girls feel tremendous pressure to be beautiful
- 80% of women agree that every woman has something about her that is beautiful but do not see their own beauty
- More than half (54%) of women globally agree that when it comes to how they look, they are their own worst beauty critic
When some of these same women were asked about inner beauty, their answers were a little different:
- 77% strongly agree that beauty can be achieved through attitude, spirit, and other attributes that have nothing to do with physical appearance
- 89% believe a woman can be beautiful at any age
- 66% strongly agree that physical attractiveness is about how one looks, whereas beauty includes much more of who a person is
I don’t know about you, but these women’s responses reflect my feelings, thoughts, and opinions on outer and inner beauty.
After scrolling through social media, trying on clothes in a store, or noticing women in my Pilates class, I can feel less than and dissatisfied with my appearance. Like you, I bear the silent scars and shame of struggling with how I look on the outside and not measuring up to society’s beauty standards. Yes, I have even stood in front of the mirror and called myself “fat” and “ugly!”
But we are Christian women. And God wants so much more for us. We are not to give in to society’s unrealistic beauty standards but instead, turn to God and the Scriptures to teach us what true beauty is and how to embrace it.
GOD’S VIEW OF BEAUTY
Beauty is essential to God and is often referred to in the Bible. It is one of the attributes of God, so we need to pay attention to it.
Author Barb Roose emphatically explains:
Let’s stop treating the topic of beauty like an ugly scriptural stepsister. Did you know that the words “beauty” and “beautiful” appear in the Bible over 100 times? In fact, beauty is a quality associated with the character of God, meaning that He has no ugliness or distortion.
Barb Roose, “Is Beauty a Bad Word for Christian Women?”
In a book about Puritan preacher Jonathan Edwards (Edwards on the Christian Life: Alive to the Beauty of God), author Dane Ortlund discovers that God’s beauty was the basis for Edwards’ theology.
The mind of Edwards, and the writings of Edwards, are unintelligible without the concept of beauty — because the theology of Edwards is built around God’s splendor. God alone possesses an exquisite beauty that distinguishes him and makes him worthy of all adoration.
Beauty is what makes God God. [Writes Edwards,] “God is God, and distinguished from all other beings, and exalted above them, chiefly by his divine beauty.” Not sovereignty, not wrath, not grace, not omniscience, not eternity, but beauty is what more than anything else defines God’s very divinity. Edwards clearly believed in these other truths about God and saw all of them as upholding and displaying and connected to God’s beauty. Yet none of them expresses who God is in the way that beauty does.”
Edwards on the Christian Life, Dane Ortlund
Wayne Grudem further explains this divine attribute in Bible Doctrine by highlighting that God’s beauty is the sum of all His desirable qualities. It is related to both His perfection (meaning God doesn’t lack anything desirable) and His beauty (God possesses everything desirable.
The Psalmist David longs to bask in the beauty of the Lord:
One thing have I asked of the Lord,
Psalm 27:4 (ESV)
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to inquire in his temple.“
And later, the Psalmist asks for God’s beauty to rest upon him:
And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us,
Psalm 90:17 (NKJV)
And establish the work of our hands for us;
Yes, establish the work of our hands.“
Sadly, we have allowed the world to hijack, corrupt, and distort God’s authentic definition of beauty. Beauty is God’s concept and is defined by Him alone!
We must acknowledge that God is not only the author and creator of beauty– He is beauty.
THE BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE OF INNER AND OUTER BEAUTY
When the Bible talks about beauty, it addresses both inner and outer beauty.
When it comes to beauty, what’s on the inside does matter most, but it’s not the only thing that matters.
Simply put, inner and outer beauty are not mutually exclusive.
One of the best articles I have read that thoroughly and thoughtfully answers our initial question: “Is inner beauty spiritual and outer beauty selfish?” is by Phylicia Masonheimer.
In “Why the “Inner Beauty” Conversation Needs to Change,” she writes:
We’re all acquainted with the media’s idolization of beauty. I could cite thousands of examples where women are objectified, bodies are standardized, and idealism is exalted as an achievable reality. Our culture worships beauty, spiritualizing it as a god-like status to be maintained at any cost.
But the church has spiritualized beauty, too.
Perhaps in reaction to society’s pushy, external focus, the church emphasizes an elusive, undefined “inner beauty”. We teach young girls to focus on that – not on what the culture has to offer. But we don’t give details on what this should look like…
This “inner beauty” is (perhaps unconsciously) depicted as a spiritual ideal, indicating that any other beauty is inferior and unimportant. But while cultivating a “gentle and quiet spirit” is a biblical quality, it doesn’t alleviate the desire to be externally beautiful. Cultivating inner beauty doesn’t answer the question these girls are asking: “Can I want to be beautiful on the outside, too?”
The “Can I want to be beautiful?” question is not so much a product of our culture as the cry of a woman’s heart. It is innate. It is designed. And it cannot be ignored.”
The church has sometimes demonized outward appearance, condemning time spent on it as shallow or selfish. But outer appearance is inseparably linked to the heart’s motives. Very often, what is seen on the outside is simply a reflection of what’s going on within. Inner and outer beauty are not “either/or”. They are “both/and”.
Phylicia Masonheimer, “Why the “Inner Beauty” Conversation Needs to Change”
That description is so helpful for me.
Inner and outer beauty are “both/and.”
But our “either/or” thinking has come from somewhere, hasn’t it? I believe our over-spiritualization of inner beauty stems from focusing on a few Bible verses to the exclusion of the whole counsel of God’s Word.
Some of these may be familiar to you.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
Proverbs 31:30 (NIV)
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.“
But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.'”
I Samuel 16:7 (NLT)
Your adornment must not be merely external—with interweaving and elaborate knotting of the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or [being superficially preoccupied with] dressing in expensive clothes; but let it be [the inner beauty of] the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, [one that is calm and self-controlled, not overanxious, but serene and spiritually mature] which is very precious in the sight of God.“
1 Peter 3:3-4 (AMP)
Please make no mistake: these are biblical truths that we must address. However, I believe (when taken out of context) that they can be used to make us question ourselves:
- If God desires inner beauty, am I selfish and sinful to want to look pretty?
- Is it wrong to style my hair, wear jewelry and makeup, or stylish clothing?
- If God created me and everything He makes is beautiful, why do I feel ashamed about my appearance?
- Am I a weak Christian for wanting to lose weight, color my hair, or dress to make me look better?
Instead of asking ourselves the above questions, I believe the more appropriate question that the Bible refers to in these passages is:
Who and what do you depend on to make yourself beautiful?
Proverbs reminds us that the inner beauty of a godly woman is incorruptible. This means that it does not lessen or get worse with age. Outer beauty is fleeting and fading. Instead, imperishable beauty only gets better with age and is, therefore, of much greater value than the beauty that comes from hair, jewelry, or clothing. That means we do not have to believe society’s lies that a youthful appearance must be maintained at all costs. We can age with grace and beauty, both outwardly and inwardly. Amen to that!
When Samuel tells us that people look at outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart, it should free us from the world’s standards and expectations of outer beauty. We can rest assured in our identity as beautiful daughters of God and know it matters most what God thinks of us–not other people and their unattainable, idealized versions of beauty.
And lastly, it is important to note that Peter does not prohibit all forms of outer beauty. Rather, he refers to our inclination to dress in a way that looks good to others or calls attention to merely our external appearance. The women in Peter’s day were using their ornately braided hair, gold jewelry, and fancy clothes for recognition and status. They fell into the trap (as we often do!) that it matters more to look good than to be good.
Real beauty comes from the hidden person of the heart. The true source of a woman’s beauty isn’t something she wears–it is something deep within that radiates from the inside out.
HOW TO BALANCE INNER AND OUTER BEAUTY
Both inner beauty and outer beauty are discussed throughout the Bible. God does not condemn outer beauty. He embodies beauty, and the universe is full of it.
For a topic that is written about in many ways in scripture, it feels like we’re more in touch with culture’s perspective on beauty than God’s perspective. In a world where we are targeted with 400-600 media advertisements a day, it is hard to ignore the pressure to be outwardly beautiful. I know it is a constant battle for me even as I scroll daily through social media.
But as Christian women, we cannot let the world define beauty for us. And we don’t have to pit inner beauty against outer beauty either!
So, what’s the to answer my initial question: Is inner beauty spiritual and outer beauty selfish?
It depends on whether we have a biblical or world view of beauty. While outer beauty should not define who we are, it does not mean we should neglect our outer appearance. The Bible provides a balanced view of inner and outer beauty that we should embrace with hope and freedom.
Phylicia Masonheimer’s advice to her young daughter is just as applicable for all women seeking to find this kind of beauty:
Yes, inner beauty matters. But so does outer beauty, because the outward is so vitally connected to what’s going on inside. Our appearance, whether we like it not, has a powerful effect on our behavior, how others perceive us, and even our own (non-spiritual) confidence. And it’s okay to want to cultivate it.
So I’ll teach my daughter to ground herself in her God-designed identity, and then I’ll give her the freedom to beautify that self.
Phylicia Masonheimer
DISCOVER INSIDE OUT BEAUTY
For years, I have dedicated myself to teaching women how to connect faith and life by leaning into the transformative power of God’s grace, guiding them to understand how the Spirit can make us beautiful from the inside out. It has been and continues to be the heart and soul of my ministry AT THE CROSSROADS.
But recently, I stepped out of my comfort zone and became certified as a Color and Image Consultant through Style by Color (www.stylebycolor.com).
I named my new business INSIDE OUT BEAUTY because I believe that when we invite God to transform us from the inside out, it will show on the outside too!
Now, I want to help you reflect that inner beauty on the outside by learning how to:
* Dress confidently in your best colors.
* Discover your unique and personal style.
* Declutter your closet to save time & money.
* Delight in the body God gave you!
You can visit my INSIDE OUT BEAUTY page to learn more!
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