If you are trying to be a perfect mom then this post is definitely not for you; you won’t find any parenting advice or great words of wisdom here. Neither will you get simple, delicious, healthy recipes, Pinterest-worthy craft and décor ideas, or stunningly beautiful photographs of me with my children. Sorry, you will have to visit another website for those things because today I want to reach out and speak directly to my people: the imperfect moms.
Yes, you are in the right place and it is Faithful Friday here AT THE CROSSROADS, but it is also Mother’s Day this weekend. Since being a stay-at-home mom has been a part of my life, identity, and faith journey for over 21 years, I hope you will permit me to take a break from our series on SURVIVING SEASONAL LIFE CHANGES and speak about motherhood.
As an imperfect mom, I must be honest with all of you: I have mixed feelings about this “holiday.” It comes with a lot of expectations and forced sentimentality. I am also not used to being the center of attention. As an imperfect mom, I usually shy away from the spotlight lest anyone get close enough to see my faults (or the dust bunnies).
But today I need to link arms in solidarity with other imperfect moms. Moms who feel less than, moms who wonder if their kids will need therapy one day, moms who question their own sanity, moms who try so hard but feel as if they always come up short, and moms who struggle to see motherhood as all rainbows, sunshine, and warm, fuzzy feelings.
Yes, it’s okay to admit it. It is time we step out of closet (or bathroom because that is usually where you find us hiding), show the world our imperfections, and embrace the truth.
I think I realized shortly after I had my first child 21 years ago that I was not going to be a perfect mom. I attended the prerequisite parenting classes, religiously read all the books, and joined a support group of other wanna-be perfect moms. And when my son refused to follow the feeding and napping schedule as prescribed by all the experts, I was undone. My track record did not improve much after that either.
Being a mom is by far the toughest job I have ever had and one that I still have not mastered over twenty years and four kids later.
I fail more often than I succeed, but am learning to embrace it all as part of the journey.
So I today I boldly and unashamedly admit that I am an imperfect mom.
There, I said it.
For everyone to read and see.
What a relief!
And this post is for all the other imperfect moms out there:
To those moms who miss games, concerts, and recitals (with good excuses or not!).
To those who lose their ever-lovin’ minds when they see used cups, wet towels, and shoes scattered everywhere.
To those who forget to turn in permission slips or bring in birthday treats.
To those who strap a screaming baby in the car seat and drive and drive hoping he will fall asleep.
To those who are late for carpool or miss it completely.
To those who send sick kids to school or keep healthy ones home.
To those who pack lame lunches because there is no food in the house (oreos & goldfish anyone?).
To those who should go to the ER for stitches but use a Band-Aid instead.
To those who look at school papers (and “ooh and ahh”) then secretly throw them away when their kids are not looking.
To those who send kids out the door with mismatched socks, wrinkled clothes, and uncombed hair.
To those who never post pictures on Facebook because they forget to take pictures or every photo is cringe-worthy.
To those who let the dog clean the kitchen floor instead of using the mop.
To those who fall asleep while reading bedtime stories.
To those who hide candy/chocolate/snacks/drinks so their kids cannot find it and they can have it all to themselves.
To those who run upstairs and lock themselves in the bathroom and pretend not to hear anyone calling.
To those who laugh when their kids fall down because sometimes it is simply hilarious.
To those who go through the drive-thru one too many times or serve cereal for dinner.
To those who hide the Xbox controllers (or any other toy/item that is driving them crazy) and claim ignorance.
To those who buy something from a store and try to pass it off as “homemade.”
To those who keep laundry in the dryer for days and keep pushing the “touch up” button.
To those who embarrass their kids by talking too loud, hugging too much, or kissing them in front of their friends…
And to those who wake up some mornings and feel like they cannot do it one more day…
If you can relate to any of these (whether you want to admit it to anyone else or not), you are not alone, sweet mama!
It’s okay you are not perfect no matter what Pinterest, Facebook, and Instagram may tell you.
In fact, I believe you deserve even more honor and praise because you are the real deal.
Here are my ABC’s of true, genuine motherhood…and they have very little to with getting things right and everything to do with showing up.
A- Always love unconditionally.
B- Be present, not perfect.
C- Care with grace, truth, and humor.
No, you are not a perfect mom, but you are a GREAT MOM who does tons of awesome things every day for your kids.
Thankfully God does not demand perfection either. He just asks for obedience and faithfulness.
And that is really the essence of being a mom. You are not always going to get it right. Perfection is an unattainable goal. Your real job is to just keep on keeping on…
“So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us…”
Galatians 6:9-10 (The Message)
Happy Mother’s Day, dear friends. Celebrate an imperfect mom this weekend!
She is doing her very best and loves you more than you will ever know.
(Faithful ATC followers, we will meet back here on Mindful Monday to continue our series on SURVIVING SEASONAL LIFE CHANGES.)
Love!
Thank you! From one imperfect mom to another…we’ve got this! 😉
This could not have come at a more perfect time. My struggle right now is dealing with “my unperfectness” and blaming my mothering on my 21 yr olds screw ups ?
I feel for you, Gina! But it is important to remember that we cannot take too much credit or too much blame when it comes to our kids. You are a faithful and strong mama…and God will provide! Keep on keeping on, my friend!