HOW TO SPEAK LESS SO YOU CAN LISTEN MORE

Want to increase connection, develop empathy, and heal brokenness? Here’s a great place to start: SPEAK LESS and LISTEN MORE. So simple and straightforward yet complicated for many of us to put into daily practice.

WELCOME: I AM LISTENING

I invite those of you who may be hurt, disillusioned, or even cynical to join us here AT THE CROSSROADS. I hope you find this a safe and welcoming place with no judgment or expectations. This blog seeks to openly and honestly wrestle with issues of how faith and life intersect. This struggle is sometimes messy, but with God’s help, I sincerely desire to lead us to a place of clarity and connection.

I am an author, speaker, and teacher. And words (both written and spoken) are the tools I use. But that does not mean I cannot and should not listen too. The Bible reminds us:

…there is a time to be quiet and a time to speak.”

Ecclesiastes 3:7

SPEAK LESS, LISTEN MORE

Lately, I have been convicted that I need to practice…

<🗣 (less speaking)

>👂🏻(more listening)

I want to be more empathetic, understanding, and accountable.

I want my heart to 💔 for what breaks God’s heart.

I realize that the only way to do this is to force myself to sit in sometimes uncomfortable places of truth and justice and learn from others.

And I think that only happens when I am still and silent, ready and open to LISTEN.

POWERFUL QUOTE ON HOW TO SPEAK & LISTEN

Below is a sign that hangs in my office so I can see it each time I sit at my desk. Lately, its message has convicted me on many levels.

When speaking is all about me and what I have to say, when it takes the form of self-justification or criticism, or when it is so loud and forceful that it drowns out all other voices, it is time for me to SPEAK LESS.

I am no longer effective because no one wants to listen. Why would they?

Many would characterize this as giving up, but it is far from it; instead, it is shutting up. It is standing in the gap, waiting on God’s timing, and showing my love through open ears and a receptive heart.

It is the beginning of learning genuine empathy…what it means to see and hear from another person’s perspective.

HOW SPEAKING LESS AND LISTENING MORE DEVELOPS EMPATHY

Brené Brown says that SYMPATHY drives disconnection while EMPATHY fuels connection.

Watch her short video that is so helpful in explaining the difference:

I want to feel with those who are hurting right now. I want to enter into those deep, dark places of suffering.

Empathy doesn’t require that we have the exact same experiences as the person sharing their story with us…Empathy is connecting with the emotion that someone is experiencing, not the event or the circumstance.

Brené Brown

And listening to others has taught me that I don’t have to fix everything or solve every problem. Still, I do have a responsibility to LISTEN and enter into the pain of others who are discouraged, defeated, and depleted.

BIBLE VERSES ON SPEAKING LESS & LISTENING MORE

The Bible confirms that many words can get us into trouble not only with others but with God. I love this translation from The Message because it is so straightforward in encouraging us to SPEAK LESS.

Don’t shoot off your mouth, or speak before you think.
Don’t be too quick to tell God what you think he wants to hear.
God’s in charge, not you—the less you speak, the better.“

Ecclesiastes 5:2 (The Message)

And in the New Testament, James gives us this wisdom:

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.“

James 1:19 (NLT)

The book of Proverbs is full of practical advice on the benefits of LISTENING MORE.

let the wise listen and add to their learning,
    and let the discerning get guidance—“

Proverbs 1:5 (NIV)

To one who listens, valid criticism
    is like a gold earring or other gold jewelry.“

Proverbs 25:12 (NLT)

WHEN IT IS CRITICAL TO SPEAK LESS & LISTEN MORE

So, if you are:

• concerned with the chaotic craziness of this world…
• feeling frustrated by your lack of understanding…
• worried and wondering what you can say and do…

STOP.

BE STILL.

AND LISTEN.

DO YOU NEED TO SPEAK LESS OR LISTEN MORE?

Depending on who and where you are, do you need to:

🗣 SPEAK your truth or

👂🏻LISTEN to those who need to be heard?

I would love for you to share your heart, your experience, and your story in the comments. I AM LISTENING!

And if you want to join our community and CONNECT 🤝 through empathy and understanding, please sign up to be an email subscriber below.