Hard times? Unmet expectations? Broken dreams? Everyone experiences setbacks, detours, and rough patches on the journey of life, but not everyone comes out the same. Do you want to be a victim or a victor? The choice is yours.
WHAT IS THE VICTIM MENTALITY?
There is a difference between acknowledging your pain and struggles and being defined by them. Does that make sense?
When we adopt a victim mentality, we say things like :
Bad things always happen to me. I am helpless and hopeless to change anything about my life. I will never achieve my goals or fulfill my dreams.”
When we practice vulnerability, we acknowledge:
I am hurting, and life stinks right now, but what is happening to me will not break me or crush my spirit. I understand that my pain can have a purpose even though I may not know what that is yet. “
Brene Brown explains why we should embrace vulnerability in her TED Talk, The Power Vulnerability:
In our culture, we associate vulnerability with emotions we want to avoid such as fear, shame, and uncertainty. Yet we too often lose sight of the fact that vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy, belonging, creativity, authenticity, and love.”
Brene Brown
HOW A VICTIM LIVES HER LIFE
Webster’s Dictionary defines a victim as:
one that is acted on and usually adversely affected by a force or agent; one that is injured, destroyed, or sacrificed under any of various conditions; one that is subjected to oppression, hardship, or mistreatment; one that is tricked or duped
Here is my simpler, far less sophisticated explanation:
A victim lets life happen to her while a victor makes life happen for her.
I see a victim as someone who has given up control, freedom, and power to the wrong people and the unexpected and unfortunate circumstances in her life.
HOW TO BECOME A VICTOR INSTEAD
I am not about giving you a self-empowerment speech of “I am Woman, hear me roar.” That is not how I define a victor.
Instead, I go to the Bible and claim the victory I have in Jesus. I hold firm to who God says I am and let go of the lies that lead to fear, shame, and defeat.
For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.”
1 John 5:4 (ESV)
I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on
John 16:33 (NLT)earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
1 Corinthians 15:57 (NIV)
THE MOVEMENT FROM VICTIM TO VICTOR
Let me be brutally honest and tell you that it is easy to play the victim. How do I know? Because I have done it many times throughout my life. You probably have to. Okay, so let’s admit it, let it go, and move on to victory.
But how?
For me, it began with chronicling my journey. I called it making my WAY THROUGH THE WILDERNESS.
God taught me so much by spending time in solitude and prayer, reading and studying the scriptures, and gleaning the wisdom from others who overcame victimhood to become victors. He gave me eyes to see new things, ears to hear his truth and promises, and a softened heart open to his leading.
I began the journey as a VICTIM but entered the Promised Land as a VICTOR!
By making intentional, purposeful, and often difficult daily choices, I took one painstaking right step after right step to overcoming defeat, despair, and discouragement.
A HELPFUL GUIDE TO VICTORY
Are you struggling with making the choice to be a victim or a
My devotional is now available for purchase directly through my website! Either go to the SHOP tab on the top menu bar or click HERE to purchase your copies.
JOIN A COMMUNITY WHO REFUSE TO BE VICTIMS
When choosing whether we will stay stuck in victimhood or rise above in victory, we need other people who can be there to champion and encourage us on our journey. I want you to know that there is a place for you here AT THE CROSSROADS.
If you desire to join a community where you can meet others for hope and encouragement on your faith journey, I would love to have you as a fellow traveler. Sign up by filling out the form below, and you will receive weekly blog posts, monthly newsletters, free faith resources, and more!
If this post spoke to you in any way, would you mind leaving a comment, sharing it on social media, or even letting a friend know? It would be encouraging to hear from others who are choosing to be victors instead of victims!
Sarah D Rollandini says
I choose victor! Thank you for teaching us that being a victor is so much more than “I am awesome!”, which seems to be the world’s message these days. So wise, Carla. 🙂
CarlaGasser says
Thank you, friend! Yes, the only victory I will claim is in Jesus!
Hephzibah says
Hi Carla,
Choosing to be a victor 😄 Praise the Lord.
CarlaGasser says
Amen! I praying for God’s victory for you!