We’ve all been there—wanting to say the right thing but feeling completely at a loss for words. Whether it’s comforting a friend in crisis or encouraging someone going through a tough season, finding the right words can feel overwhelming. But the truth is, you don’t have to have all the answers—sometimes, the simplest phrases can offer the most powerful comfort and hope. Let’s explore four phrases that can bring light and hope when you’re struggling to find the right words, along with the biblical truths that make these words so encouraging.
WHY WE STRUGGLE TO FIND THE RIGHT WORDS TO SAY
Often, words seem to fall short, so we remain silent, not knowing what to say or how to say it.
But as a dear friend told me last week, “the silence can be deafening.”
So, we remain stuck, fearing opening our mouths and saying the wrong thing or remaining mute and risking misinterpretation that we really don’t care.
To say or not to say? On which side do we error?
It is true that our words matter.
Words can speak life…or death.
They can build up…or tear down.
Words can encourage…or discourage.
Once spoken, they cannot be unspoken.
So it is okay to struggle with what to say because that means we are taking our words seriously–and we should.
But I want to choose words, and I want you to, too. But choose them carefully, prayerfully, and thoughtfully.
WHY WORDS MATTER (BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE)
Words matter because they have the power to build up or tear down, to give life, or to wound deeply. The Bible is clear about the power and impact of our words.
The book of Proverbs is a collection of timeless wisdom and practical guidance, showing us how to live a life of integrity, discipline, and godly character. And this short book of 31 chapters has much to say about our lips, speech, and words. Over 20% of the Proverbs deal with what comes out of our mouths!
Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.
Proverbs 15:4(NLT)
Rash language cuts and maims,
but there is healing in the words of the wise.Proverbs 12:18 (MSG)
Like apples of gold in settings of silver
Is a word spoken in right circumstances.Proverbs 25:11 (NASB)
As followers of Christ, we are called to reflect His love, grace, and truth in how we speak to others. Our words can be a powerful tool for encouragement, healing, and offering hope—especially in moments when those around us are hurting.
Jesus showed the importance of words, offering comfort, truth, and love through everything He said. He knew how to speak to the heart of each person He encountered, and His words still bring life today. When we follow His example, we recognize that our words can become a vessel for God’s love, carrying the light of Christ to those who need it most.
4 PHRASES THAT SPEAK ENCOURAGING WORDS TO OTHERS
So, I started making a list of words that could bring comfort and encouragement—words that could build up, bless, and speak life into those around me. But as I sat with it, I realized it’s not just about single words; it’s about intentional phrases–small but powerful messages that carry the weight of truth and hope. These are the kind of words we often need to hear ourselves but can also offer to others when we don’t quite know what to say.
So today, I want to reach through this screen and speak these words directly into your heart. Maybe one of them is exactly what your soul needs right now. Or maybe, just maybe, you’re meant to share one of these phrases with someone else today. Let’s hold these truths close and pass them on because words—especially words rooted in love and biblical truth—have the power to transform.
1) “YOUR PAIN MATTERS.”
Starting with a simple acknowledgment can be incredibly powerful. Sometimes, the most profound comfort comes from being seen and heard in the midst of struggle. These words validate the person’s experience, letting them know their pain isn’t invisible or dismissed. This kind of acknowledgment can open the door for deeper connection, showing that you’re willing to walk with them through the hard things, without rushing to fix or minimize what they’re feeling.
Some things you can say:
- God sees you, knows you, and loves you…and so do I.
- He counts each sorrow. He knows each tear that falls.
- Your pain is not insignificant to Him or me.
- God may not take away the pain right now, but He can and will redeem it.
- Your pain has a purpose.
Some supporting Bible verses:
Psalm 56: 8 says this about God, “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”
Psalm 34:18 assures us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”
2 Corinthians 1:4, “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”
2) “I HAVE BEEN THERE TOO.”
Next, let someone know they are not the only one with pain, hardship, and struggle. It’s a way of offering solidarity and empathy, reassuring them that their feelings are valid and that others have walked a similar path. This phrase gently reminds them that while their experience is unique, they don’t have to bear the weight of it in isolation. It’s a reminder that there is strength and healing in shared experiences.
Some things you can say:
- We all have stuff. We all need grace. Yes, we are all in this together.
- I get it–your pain, your struggles, your insecurities. You do not need to explain anything to me or God.
- I know what it is like to feel hopeless, helpless, and alone, and so does Jesus.
- I am no better than you, and my mess is not greater or less than yours, but I can empathize and understand.
- Jesus knew loss and suffering, too, and wants to be with you no matter where you are.
Some supporting Bible verses:
1 Thessalonians 5:11 tells us to,“…speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind.”
Isaiah 53:3-4 says that Jesus suffered for us, “He was despised and rejected—a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care. Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down.”
1 Corinthians 12:26 reminds us that we are in this together, “If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. If one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance.”
3) “I WILL WAIT WITH YOU.”
When words run out, simply letting someone know you’ll sit with them and wait—no matter how long it takes—can be one of the most powerful comforts you offer. In those moments, your presence speaks louder than anything you could say.
Some things you can say:
- I may not know the right thing to say or exactly how to help, but I will be here.
- You can count on me to show up. The messiness and brokenness will not scare me away from you.
- I will not leave or give up. I am here for you until you get through this and reach the other side.
- I will hold your hand and wait with you.
- If you want me to talk, be quiet, or just cry with you, that is what I will do.
Some supporting Bible verses:
Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 tells us that, “Two are better than one for they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one can lift up his friend…”
Isaiah 41:10 reminds us that God is there with us too, “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”
4) “I WILL PRAY FOR YOU.”
We need to be careful of throwing around this phrase too casually. Too many of us (I’m guilty!) say these words when we don’t know what to say. However, once we have acknowledged and identified with someone’s pain, the best thing we can do is to take them to Jesus.
Some things you can say:
- Whether you know Jesus or not, He knows you, desires a relationship with you, and wants to fix what is broken.
- I promise to pray with you and for you when you cannot pray.
- I will pray scripture over you, claiming God’s promises for you.
- You can come to me any time with your specific prayer requests and count on me to agree with you in prayer.
Some supporting Bible verses:
Galatians 6:2 tells us to “bear one another’s burdens.”
James 5:16 “…pray for one another that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power while it is working.”
Matthew 18:19-20, “If two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am among them.”
A PLACE FOR WORDS OF HOPE AND HEALING
I hope this post has given you some practical ideas about how to reach out to someone when you are struggling with what to say. Our words have the power to bring comfort, hope, and healing, so I challenge you to use your words to speak life and love.
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Are there other phrases that you have used or that someone has said to you that have made a difference in your life? Feel free to share them in the comment section below and let the blessing and encouragement spread out from here.
If this post spoke to you in any way, would you mind leaving a comment, sharing it on social media, or even letting a friend know?
Words do matter, and you dear Friend have the Gift of not only writing them but also living them.
I’m grateful to have been blessed by hearing you say all four of these phrases in the last few weeks.
I’d add one more to this list: “I’ll be over … with strong coffee.” 🙂
We press on and look forward to seeing where He leads on the “other side” of the Middle.
Grateful for your wise writing and true friendship.
Thank you, dear friend! We share a love of both the written and spoken word (and The Word) which binds our hearts together. You have also spoken words of grace and truth into my life for which I am so very grateful.
And yes, words with strong coffee are always better!
Carla, your post was really refreshing this morning. I often struggle with “what to say” and want to encourage others. Your advice was beautifully presented and timely.
Thank you, Alison. I’m thankful that this post helped you. I definitely learned the hard way! I either said too much, not enough, or, sadly, nothing at all. It was only when I went through deep suffering and pain of my own that God opened my eyes…I think He often uses our own losses and struggles to teach us how to respond to others.
I always like continuing education classes where I can use the information with a patient in the clinic that day. I can use these words and actions with a friend, today. What a gift your writing is and your suggestions of words and actions perfect. Thanks for making it seem easy to do or say something!
Thanks for encouraging me with your kind words! See? You are doing it already!! 😉