Prayer changes things. There is power in prayer. Just pray about it. We casually toss out those phrases to provide comfort, guidance, and hope. But what happens when it is hard to pray? When we don’t feel like praying? When we don’t believe that praying will do anything?
IT’S OKAY TO STRUGGLE WITH PRAYER
You do not have to be Christian to be familiar with the concept of prayer. Whether you take the daily discipline of praying seriously or cry out to God when you do not know what else to do, we can sometimes find it difficult to pray. And that’s okay.
I invite those of you who may be seeking and searching to learn more about prayer and other faith-related topics to join us here AT THE CROSSROADS. I hope you find this a safe and welcoming place where you can be authentic and real. This blog seeks to openly and honestly wrestle with issues of how faith and life intersect. This struggle is sometimes messy, but with God’s help, I sincerely desire to lead us to a place of clarity and connection.
3 REASONS WHY WE MAY FIND IT DIFFICULT TO PRAY
While there can be so many reasons we struggle with prayer, I find that they fall into three basic categories.
- APATHY
- ANXIETY
- ANGER
APATHY TOWARDS PRAYING
How we feel about prayer:
- Apathetic
- Disinterested
- Indifferent
- Bored
- Numb
What we say about prayer:
- I don’t have any desire to pray.
- I get distracted and bored when I pray.
- I feel absolutely nothing when I pray.
What we do when it comes to praying:
- Avoid
- Ignore
- Procrastinate
- Make excuses
ANXIETY ABOUT PRAYING
How we feel about prayer:
- Anxious
- Fearful
- Ashamed
- Uneasy
- Apprehensive
What we say about prayer:
- I cannot pray because I don’t know what to say or how to say it.
- God won’t listen to me when I pray because of what I have done (or not done.).
- Some people have the gift of prayer, but that is not me.
What we do when it comes to praying:
- Worry
- Compare & compete
- Overanalyze & criticize
- Give up
ANGER ABOUT PRAYING
How we feel about prayer:
- Angry
- Frustrated
- Bitter
- Offended
- Resentful
What we say about prayer:
- Praying is useless because God does what he wants.
- God answers other people’s prayers but not mine.
- Praying is too passive; I cannot wait for God to act.
What we do when it comes to praying:
- Dismiss & minimize
- Reject
- Manipulate
- Disparage & blame
You may relate to one of these reasons for finding it difficult to pray. Depending on your situation and your spiritual background, you may experience all of these emotions (apathy, anxiety, and anger) when it comes to praying. Acknowledging and accepting where you are when it comes to prayer is a excellent place to start.
But what now? Where do you take those feelings of indifference, doubt, and bitterness? You cannot bring them to God, can you?
YES! That is exactly where you go when you find it hard to pray.
4 THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU FIND IT HARD TO PRAY
It may seem counterintuitive to go to God when you are struggling with prayer…after all, that’s your problem, right? Talking to God. Coming to him and believing that he hears you and will respond.
While there are many acrostics for prayer that I found useful in helping me learn how to pray (and you know how I LOVE acrostics!), I wanted to come up with one of my own that specifically addressed what to do when we find it difficult to pray.
SCRIPTURE VERSES & QUOTES ON PRAYER
P- PREPARE
Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.
Matthew 6:6-8 (The Message)
“The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They’re full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don’t fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply.“
If you haven’t prayed in a long time, prepare to pray, but don’t make it too complicated. Set aside time when you are alone and free from distractions (I pray while driving in my car all the time!). You don’t have to read a how-to book or follow a specific formula; just start talking to God.
“True prayer is neither a mere mental exercise nor a vocal performance. It is far deeper than that – it is a spiritual transaction with the Creator of Heaven and Earth.” ~Charles Spurgeon
R- RELEASE
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.“
Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)
Sometimes we find it difficult to pray because we cannot let go of fear, worry, or doubt. We overthink and panic, which renders us ineffective. If you look at this verse carefully, prayer comes before peace. We must release everything to God first by praying.
“I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I’m helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time, waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God. It changes me.” ~ C.S. Lewis
A- ACCEPT
And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for.”
1 John 5:14-15 (NLT)
Because prayer involves talking to someone we cannot physically see, hear, or touch, it can be hard to believe that God is listening to us. We have to accept, by faith, that God hears us when we pray and approach him with confidence and trust.
“If you believe in prayer at all, expect God to hear you. If you do not expect, you will not have. God will not hear you unless you believe He will hear you; but if you believe He will, He will be as good as your faith.” ~Charles Spurgeon
Y – YIELD
And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.“
Romans 8:26-27 (NLT)
It is easy to give up on praying when we don’t know what to say or how to say it. We need to try yielding to the Holy Spirit instead. God promises us that the Spirit knows what we need before we even ask and intercedes on our behalf. What a comforting thought when we feel like we can’t pray…the Holy Spirit prays for us!
“Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts.” ~ Mother Teresa
WHEN YOU WANT TO PRAY BUT FEEL YOU CAN’T
If you have the desire to pray but feel like apathy, anxiety, or anger may be holding you back, I challenge you to step out in faith today and just start talking to God. There are four simple steps to help you get started.
- P- PREPARE
- R- RELEASE
- A- ACCEPT
- Y- YIELD
FREE PRINTABLE TO HELP YOU PRAY WHEN IT IS A STRUGGLE
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If this post spoke to you in any way, would you mind leaving a comment, sharing it on social media, or even letting a friend know? It would be encouraging to hear from others who also sometimes find it hard to pray.
I do struggle with prayer. Sometime I feel like I only go to Him when I need something! I need to learn to go to Him just because He blesses me daily!
Thank you Carla
I think that happens to so many of us, Belinda! I think that is why God continues to teach me about prayer…it is a lifelong pursuit!
I think this will be a great Workshop for ladies at my Church!
To help new believers and remind us all on our Journey that it’s ok to struggle because we do! It’s also warfare when we are in prayer and the flesh don’t like it nor does the enemy.
Thanks for your Awesome work!
Thanks for your kind words! I pray that is blesses you and the ladies at your church.
Thank you Carla. That prayer acronym is awesome! Prayer was something that I used to struggle with but ever since my girlfriend Maria left to Heaven I set an alarm for 7pm for resurrection prayer for Maria. Others including and myself would pray at 7pm for one week for Maria to resurrect. The miracle didn’t happened but it’s God‘s will not my will. However the Prayer alarm keep going. I just want to invite you and others to purposely pray together with us or for us to be consistent in praying for God’s children to be bold and take courage specially during this pandemic season. And lastly prayer for Maria’s family and my broken heart would greatly be appreciated.
Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need -Hebrews 4:16 🙏
Thank you, Joaquin! I am glad that it encouraged you. Continued prayers for you and Maria’s family. I also agree that as believers we need to step out in bold faith and pray for physical and spiritual healing for our world.
This is really good, thank u. Xx
Thank you, Lauren! I am so glad it encouraged you. Keeping praying!!
Carla, thank you so much for encouraging us to pray. I had just been praying the other day with some friends when one of my friends mentioned Joshua 24 verse 23. She mentioned the word yield came to her heart. As I read your post and your acrostic it reminded me of this verse again. ❤️ Thank you for sharing these encouraging words with us!
Thank you for your kind words, Sonya, and for mentioning that verse in Joshua. What a great insight to yield to God in all things!
This is such an awesome post Carla! And I love how you laid everything out in this post. Very awesome insight and practical advice. I love talking to Daddy God but at times when someone is really hurting, I struggle to come up with the right words to pray other than to ask Him to please help. I am learning to pray His Word more, and that takes away doubt if He heard me or whether He will answer because I know its His will. 🙂
Amen! Thank you for your kind and encouraging words, Donna! Yes, praying scripture back to God is such a powerful way to push through our struggles with prayer and remind ourselves of his promises! So appreciate this insight!
I have learned that prayer is totally a discipline and you have provided some wonderful practical tools here!
I agree…I don’t think I will ever “arrive” in the discipline of prayer…but that is probably exactly how God wants it! 😉
Thank you so much for this post. I find it difficult to pray because of my struggles. I hope to always pray no matter what situation I find myself. Thanks
I think many of us struggle with prayer…and God knows this! Keep crying out to Him…He hears us and listens.
My anxiety keeps getting worse daily and even the littlest things like banging of doors or someone yelling at me gives me anxiety. I’m naturally an overthinker, these and many more I am trying to fight and from this blog I’ve come to a better understanding that they can affect my prayer life cause I am tired of constantly blaming myself as I can’t even pray daily so I woke up this morning believing there are solutions here for me and this really helped. I’ll just go ahead and PRAY. Thank you so much
Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your struggles. I am so grateful that this post encouraged you. I will be praying that you can talk to God and let Him take your burdens and give you His peace. He is faithful!
Hello, I am a 19 year old girl in Zimbabwe and I’ve always grown up in the church and had a relationship with God which I have been taking more seriously. God is good and Faithful and I bless His name. I lead the prayer for our nation every youth service but lately I was struggling to pray because of apathy and just feeling numb, this would cause me to overthink and feel like God cannot hear me. Today I confessed the apathy to Him and just prayed, already I feel better but I would love to know, is there a way I can avoid apathy because I absolutely hate this feeling. I depend on God and not being able to talk to Him is horrible but because of the apathy, I knew I can’t continue like that but felt a bit indifferent. I want God to stir within me a hunger and a thirst for Him but the indifference just feels like it’s blocking that. Do I continue to tell God that everyday until something happens, can I be proactive about other things?
Dear Ruth, thank you so much for reaching out to me. First, I want to tell you that I so admire your faith and willingness to lead others through prayer. I find that when I am stuck or apathetic about prayer and cannot find the words or motivation, I find Bible verses and pray them back to God. There are so many promises in God’s Word that can bring us life, hope, and inspiration. Find a few of your favorite verses and write them on cards, so that when you have no words or are feeling disconnected from God you can use His Word to renew and refresh your soul. I know the Holy Spirit will meet you when you do this! Blessings to you!
Thanks for this great encouragement I thought I was the only one but now I know iam not alone and there is a way .
I used to lead my family and siblings ,upon marrying a pastor and moving to a new place I thought I will become more prayerful but now is even worst ,devotional prayer is just difficult even if the alarm is on I Donot know my problem now ,but without prayer I cannot achieve my purpose iam so sad in my spirit
I am so glad that this post encouraged you, Teni! Sometimes it is hard to start praying again after we have been quiet for a while, but God has not left you. He is still there and eager to hear your prayers. Start with a simple prayer and see what happens. I am praying right now that the Lord will make Himself known to you and that you will feel His presence again.
Thank you for this post. I honestly felt very alone in this respect. I am a new Christian and have been finding prayer difficult at times. My mind goes blank and then anxiety kicks in because I can’t find the words to express myself. I say the Lord’s Prayer daily, and have been finding that helpful in starting my daily prayers with God.
I joined a Bible study group online a couple of years ago and I still have difficulty praying in front of others. It feels so silly, but i have this irrational fear of praying out loud in a group. I’ve been asked to lead the group in prayer, and I’ve embarrassingly declined. I feel terrible and I’ve explained to them my anxiety and that I’m not ready to pray out loud yet. They are very kind and understanding, but I know i’m going to have to do it at some point. I ask the lord for courage all of the time, but it never seems to come.
I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability, Katherine. I am thankful you are in a group studying God’s Word. I love that you want to pray, but please give yourself some grace about praying in front of others. I know people who have been Christians for a long time who still struggle with this, so you are not alone!! Writing out your prayers may be a helpful tool for you alone or when you want to pray aloud.
Hello Carla,thank you so much for this post.Apathy,Anxiety and Anger have been me lately thus finding it extremely difficult to pray.After reading this post I feel much better now and ready to pray.Thank you again.
Thanks for your honesty. I think we all go through times when it is hard to pray. So thankful that this post encouraged you!
I pray constantly but my mind keeps questioning the very basics of the faith. It torments me non stop that I don’t believe and that I will remain like this. I’ve tried everything to quiet my mind or to find peace. It feels like in just speaking and nothing is happening except me getting more anxious.
I so appreciate you being open and honest with where you are right now. One of my favorite prayers in the Bible is a very simple one that relates to our unbelief. In Mark 9:24, when Jesus asks a father if he believes that He can heal his child, he responds, “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief!” So, I would tell you to bring your questions, doubts, and unbelief to God. He can handle them…and He can also give you faith to believe.
I’ve been feeling like I’m not praying the right way or rather I’m so overwhelmed with how others say i have to pray. They say for our prayers to be effective we should pray with scripture but it’s quite hard for me as I have not recited or memorized them . I feel like because I can’t include His word in my prayers, they’re not effective and it feels frustrating .
I so appreciate your heart, Gina, and your desire to pray! I believe that God meets us where we are, so I suggest you start by just talking to God. God promises to respond to those who diligently seek Him, so if you come to Him with an open and willing heart, He will hear your prayers!
Thank you for this! I talk to God daily but it is always messy and chaotic, not pretty and poetic like others prayers I have heard. Thanks for the tips on how to pray more with purpose. I don’t always have a quiet place but do it anyways and always worship with music. It is reassuring to know I am not alone in this.
Your comment is encouraging to me as well, Brandy! I believe that God just wants us to communicate with Him…and sometimes we hold back because of our assumptions of what prayer should look like. I love using worship music to pray too! Many blessings to you on your faith journey!
Life is pushing me to very tight places. I feel like I am literally choking over the many needs and cares mainly financial needs. Carla, your honesty about yourself and your journey has left me appreciative of the fact the best way to handle issues and to bring them before God, is to be real with HIM as father and not put up a show for HIM. This week has been very difficult and I have found myself not strong enough to pray. but after reading your message of encouragement, I think I can now talk to God. Is it weird that I am a worship leader and find myself sometimes unable to pray?
Oh, Mary! I do not think that it is weird that you are a worship leader and struggle to pray. Many heroes of the faith have had times of doubt and discouragement. I would encourage you to keep reaching out to God with honesty. He knows your needs and hears every prayer. I will continue to pray that you feel His presence, peace, and provision in a powerful way.
I like what Carla said about prayer. It really helps me. I have had problems praying but her
words have helped me.
I am so thankful that my words have helped with your prayer, Gail! I will continue to pray that you can call on the Lord, knowing that He listens, He cares, and will answer you.
Your words are really helpful and comforting I pray God gives me the boldness to pray always not only when I need something from him…..
Thank you for these kind words! I hope that your prayer continues to grow deeper as you lean in to the Lord!
I feel so much encouraged my prayer life has derailed and needed a push just like this article Thank you so much
So thankful that this post encouraged you in your prayer life. Keep on keeping on!
Thank you for this encouraging article
Thanks for reading it…so grateful that it spoke to you!