How do you find your tribe? The other women with whom you can walk the journey of life? Learn how to find and create healthy connections with others by discovering the three types of women you should connect with on your faith journey.
CONNECTION SERIES
A month ago, we began by exploring WHY WE FEEL SO DISCONNECTED IN CONNECTED WORLD. Although disconnection can make us feel detached, lonely, and anxious, it also reminds us that we are created for connection. God designed us to know him and others and be known, so we learned WHY WE NEED TO START WITH GOD IF WE ARE SEEKING AUTHENTIC CONNECTION. From this place of connection, we moved to how we can FIND THE PATH OF CONNECTION by choosing to walk by faith.
But we need traveling companions, don’t we? The journey of life is not meant to be walked alone, so we want to figure out how we can create healthy connections.
When we try to find people on the PATH of CONNECTION, we need to look in three places:
- Those who are walking ahead of us.
- Those who are walking beside us.
- Those who are walking behind us.
MAKING HEALTHY CONNECTIONS WITH WOMEN ON THE SAME PATH
Often we can become fixated and focused on the different people we may encounter either intent on catching up to those who are ahead, only wanting to spend time with those beside us, or constantly looking back and worrying about those behind.
My challenge to you (and myself) is to embrace those ahead, beside, and behind us on the path. God intended us to have horizontal connections with all kinds of people. It makes for fuller, richer, and genuine relationships.
Where is my evidence for this? In the Bible, of course!
WHAT THE BIBLE TEACHES ABOUT CREATING HEALTHY CONNECTIONS WITH OTHER WOMEN
If you look in the New Testament, three different men illustrate this concept beautifully: Paul, Barnabas, and Timothy. We will look at their relationships with one other to guide us.
(Hang in there with me on this–I feminized the names for the ladies!)
WOMAN OF CONNECTION #1: Finding Your PAUL/PAULA
Where is the woman on the path?
This is someone who is ahead of you on the journey.
Who is this woman and how would you describe her?
This person is a mentor, guide, coach, instructor, counselor, and/or teacher.
When we think of the apostle Paul, we need to acknowledge a man who shaped the very history of Christianity. Intense, single-minded, humble, persistent, and strong, he spread the good news of Jesus after being a persecutor of Christians. He went on three missionary journeys, wrote many letters to various churches (which now make up much of the New Testament), and always tried to follow God’s leading in his life. He was and remains a role model, mentor, and father of the faith to countless people on the path.
He formally mentored Timothy and informally mentored many others who sought to follow his godly example.
Why do I need to look for this woman of connection?
If you are someone seeking connection, look ahead on the path to find your PAUL/PAULA.
He/she will be a person who is further along on the journey (this could be spiritually, emotionally, experientially, or even physically in age). They will be someone who is diligently seeking God and his plans for their life. Look for a person who humble, wise, open, and full of integrity. Ask them to share what they have learned with you.
I have had several PAULAS in my life to whom I am very grateful. Some of these women have shown me love, truth, and grace in real and tangible ways like my mother, friends who have become my “older sisters,” and Bible study teachers. They have modeled for me what it means to be a good wife, mother, friend, and Christ-follower.
There are other PAULAS in my life whom I have never met (and may never meet on this side of eternity). Women whose books, words, and life stories have touched my heart and soul. I may not have made a real-life connection with them, but I still consider them kindred spirits who have taught me a great deal. Some of these would include Ruth Bell Graham, Elisabeth Elliot, Beth Moore, and Lysa TerKeurst.
How do I follow this person?
Watch, listen, serve, follow, learn, read, glean, and emulate these people and look for them in different seasons and areas of your life: friendship, career, marriage, motherhood, service, homemaking, and Bible study. Take a risk and ask someone…and be patient even if it takes you a few times to find the right fit!
WOMAN OF CONNECTION #2: Connecting with your BARNABAS/BARBIE
Where is the woman on the path?
This is someone who is walking beside you on the journey.
Who is this woman and how would you describe her?
This is a person who is a partner, companion, co-laborer, encourager, and friend.
In Acts 4:36, Luke translates Barnabas to mean “son of encouragement” or “son of consolation.”
Scripture paints a picture of Barnabas as a kind, forgiving, encouraging, and compassionate man. Luke sums up his character in Acts 11:24, “He was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and of faith…”
Although not as well known as Paul, Barnabas sacrificed himself to be instrumental in spreading the gospel. He even sold his property to donate money to the early church.
One wonders if Paul would have made it without Barnabas. He was the perfect “wingman” and always had Paul’s back. Because of his constant support and encouragement, Paul was enabled to do what God called him to do.
Why do I need to look for this woman of connection?
We all need to have a Barnabas/Barbie at our side; someone who is traveling alongside us on the path. He/she holds the unique place and privilege of being in the trenches with us as well as on the mountaintops. We may call them our BFF, confidant, soulmate, or kindred spirit, but this person just “gets” us.
Look for someone who champions who you are and what you do. This person will cooperate with you (as Barnabas did with Paul) to get you where you both need to go. They will communicate truth in love and will always have your back. When you are weak, they are strong.
The BARBIES in my life are invaluable to me as women of CONNECTION. They have weathered the seasons of my life, have shown up in good times and bad, and have provided a constant source of encouragement, truth, and love.
How do I walk alongside this woman?
To have a BARNABAS/BARBIE in your life, you must first be a one! You need to be intentional and purposeful about being a person who champions, collaborates, and communicates with those who walk alongside you. Learn from Barnabas and his faithful friendship with Paul!
WOMAN OF CONNECTION #3: Encouraging a TIMOTHY/TAMMY
Where is the woman on the path?
This is someone who is behind you on the path.
Who is this woman and how would you describe her?
This is a person who is a student, mentee, follower, observer, and/or learner.
Paul referred to Timothy as his “true son in the faith.” In 1 Timothy 4:14-15, Paul writes to Timothy and says, “Do not neglect your gift, which was given to you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you. Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress.”
One of the most gratifying things in Paul’s life had to be watching Timothy develop into a “man of God” (see 1 Tim. 6:11). His letters reveal that he had confidence that Timothy would make progress not just by listening to Paul but by being diligent and self-disciplined.
Why do I need to look for this woman of connection?
Why should we be watching out for a TIMOTHY/TAMMY who may be coming up behind us on the path? Hopefully, because we know the value of having a PAUL/PAULA in our lives and want to be that person for someone else!
If you are seeking to be a person of CONNECTION, you will recognize the gifts and potential in others and try to nurture those qualities just like Paul did for Timothy.
In passing on your wisdom, guidance, and experiences either formally or informally, you become a champion and cheerleader to those who are looking for guidance and support.
How do I encourage and lead this woman?
If you have not formally mentored someone, I challenge you to try it. You may not think you have anything to give, but you do! Trust me. In every area of your life, some are looking to you on the path. Whether it is your career, your role as a parent, your hobbies/interests, or your spiritual walk, you have walked a few steps ahead of someone else and can pass on what you have learned…even your mistakes and regrets! It may be structured or unstructured, last a few months or a few years, or be in one specific area. Trust God to bring the right TIMOTHY/TAMMY into your life and be ready and willing when you meet them!
I can honestly tell you that in every mentoring relationship I have had, the privilege has been all mine. At times, I believe they have taught me more than I have taught them! A healthy mentoring relationship is one of mutual benefit, learning, and joy.
LOOK FOR YOUR WOMEN AND CONNECT
I hope you will take the time to look for the three kinds of people that God has placed on your path of CONNECTION. Thank the ones who are already walking with you and be open to making more connections as you encounter different people along the journey!
LET’S MAKE A HEALTHY CONNECTION
If you are encouraged by this post and want to continue to learn how to connect with God and others, please consider becoming an email subscriber. You will receive all the posts in this CONNECTION blog series, free resources, and opportunities to meet and collaborate,
Such excellent info, Carla! I think my biggest challenge is to find/make time for all three types of connections on my path.
Thank you, Sarah! I agree with you completely…making time to intentionally connect with all three types of people on the path is challenging. Yet, my life is enriched when I do!!