WHY YOU FEEL SO DISCONNECTED IN A CONNECTED WORLD

Disconnected. Detached. Separated. Disengaged. Isolated. Divorced. Cut off. Do you feel the power of those words cutting deep into your heart and soul, almost physically separating you from the world?

I realize that even as we try to connect here AT THE CROSSROADS, many of you are feeling the pain and loneliness of disconnection. And the irony of being able to communicate through this blog, social media, and all that the internet provides is that it is often a poor substitute for authentic connection. That is why we can feel so disconnected even in our “connected” world. But I don’t think that should keep us from trying! Consider this observation from Julia Cameron:

We need to bridge our sense of loneliness and disconnection with a sense of community and continuity even if we must manufacture it from our time on the Web…We must “log on” somewhere, and if it is only in cyberspace, that is still far better than nowhere at all.”

God is No Laughing Matter

So with this thought in mind, I welcome you here on this Mindful Monday, hoping that this will be a safe place for those of you who are seeking authentic and meaningful connections.

MY HEART FOR CONNECTION

If you have visited AT THE CROSSROADS more than once, you may have noticed that CONNECTION is not only one of my passions but also the heart and soul of my ministry and my speaking, writing, and teaching.

I have shared openly about my need for community and my lifelong journey toward:

• Connecting faith and life.
• Connecting passion and purpose.
• Connecting people of like minds and hearts with each other.

I believe that something deep in our souls, whether we choose to admit it or not, longs for meaningful and authentic relationships with others. And no matter how we are wired—whether we call ourselves extroverts or introverts, socially savvy or socially awkward, energized by people or drained by people—we are all created by God for connection and community.

WHY WE FEEL DISCONNECTED

We live in a world where we can connect to people, places, information, and ideas in mere seconds. Through the power of text messages, emails, phone calls, tweets, Instagram posts, and FaceTime, we can reach out to anyone at any time. So, why then do we feel so disconnected? Shouldn’t more connectedness make us feel better?

Janine Garner asks this crucial question: “Has the Technology that Was Supposed to Connect Us Made Us More Disconnected than Ever Before?” and concludes:

“The increase in ‘connection’ seems to be resulting in a parallel increase in ‘disconnection.'”

Janine Garner

What?!?! How can more connections lead to more disconnection? It seems counterintuitive and illogical, right?

I do not think we need to look further than our own experiences to realize she makes a valid point. Think about it this way:

How does the breadth (quantity) of your connections compare with the depth (quality) of your connections?

When we define the strength of our connections by numbers instead of names, we end up exhausted and empty. Garner refers to these as “transactional” connections that are shallow and superficial. She uses the term “transformational” to describe the meaningful and deep relationships that require communication and collaboration with real people.

HOW TECHNOLOGY DISCONNECTS US

Replying with a smiley face emoji is not the same as being there to clap and cheer for a friend’s success.

Holding someone’s hand as they grieve over a loss can never be replaced by a text message as heartfelt and sincere as it may be.

And sending an email response to a colleague who needs help does not compare to showing up and talking and walking them through the process.

Don’t get me wrong…technology has its place and is useful, helpful, and even necessary in so many of our interactions. But if we are wondering why we are feeling so disconnected in a world that is so connected, we need realistically assess the limits of technology in building transformative, authentic, and deep connections.

WHY WE EXPERIENCE DISCONNECTION BUT LONG FOR CONNECTION

One of the ways we measure our happiness and fulfillment is by the strength of our connections, so when we feel disconnected, we can experience discontentment, anxiety, and depression.

Because we long to know others and be known by them, contrived communication in the form of status updates, hashtags, and photo posts will not satisfy the deep longings of our souls.

Authentic and meaningful connection desires and demands more from us.

Are you up for the challenge?

A CALL TO BE CONNECTED PEOPLE

We cannot let the false sense of “connectedness” that offers only transactional interactions keep us from seeking transformative relationships. We can choose authentic connection over comfort, convenience, and casual interaction.

This blog series on CONNECTION begins with a call for CONNECTORS. People who are willing to invest in:

• Meaningful conversation

• Authentic collaboration

• Mutual consideration

I encourage you to begin by evaluating the connections in your life.  If you are feeling disconnected in any way, I want you to take the challenge and commit to becoming a CONNECTOR!

The best way to do this is to join me and other CONNECTORS by becoming an email subscriber. You will receive all the posts in this CONNECTION blog series, free faith resources, opportunities to meet and collaborate, and my free e-book, “THE POWER OF CONNECTION.”

Don’t waste another moment feeling disconnected. LET’S CONNECT NOW!