Do you ever feel like you’re on the outside looking in? Watching other people connect? Wanting to be included?
You don’t have to be a shy little girl or awkward teenager to feel like you don’t belong. A few months ago I read this Facebook post by Amy Weatherly:
Sometimes I feel like I’m not quite cool enough. Sometimes I feel like I’m not quite popular enough. Sometimes I feel like I don’t fit in the same way other people do.Amy Weatherly
Sometimes I feel like there is a group who maybe doesn’t really want me there. Sometimes I wonder why I wasn’t invited. Sometimes I walk up to a circle of people and I don’t know whether to force my way in, or be awkward hanging around on the outside, just twiddling my thumbs, kicking the dirt, talking to myself, waiting until I can leave and go home to the safety of my sofa. “
Do you relate to her as much as I do? And when you visit her site, look at her picture, and learn about her life, you think…What?!?! How in the world can a woman like that ever feel less than, unwanted, or awkward? Lord, have mercy! There is absolutely no hope for me.
I HAVE A CONFESSION
Guess what? I have a little secret to tell you. I feel this way. Awkward. Uncomfortable. Out of step. Unpopular.
Not all the time. But probably more than I care to acknowledge.
Maybe you do too. Many of us don’t want to admit we sit at home (alone) scrolling endlessly on our phones and computers looking at beautiful people doing amazing things together and feel like losers left out on the playground. Social media provides a window for us to look in on other people’s lives from a distance and assume that they are perfect, fulfilled, and connected. From this vantage point, we are in the position of the outsider looking in…and it is not a good thing. Nor is it real.
CIRCLES vs. U’s
Amy Weatherly goes on to describe the difference of being on the outside vs. being on the inside.
Circles are great if you’re on the inside. They can be fun if you’re in one, but circles can be awfully cruel if you’re left on the outskirts, looking for a way to get inside.
They can be exclusive.
They can be excluding.
They can be exhausting.
They can be cliquish.
They can be childish.
They are far, far too common.
Stop building circles and build a U. Leave room for everyone. Make a way so anyone, any ‘you’ can walk up and feel like they have a place to stand.”Amy Weatherly
A PLACE TO CONNECT
One of the reasons I started AT THE CROSSROADS over seven years ago was this longing for CONNECTION in my own life. I desired to connect my faith and my life, but I knew I needed to do so within the context of a committed community of kindred spirits. After vainly searching for this safe and welcoming place, I decided to create my own! Not only here online (which enables us to connect despite being separated by distance) but also in real life!
What I wanted to do (although I could not articulate it as well as Amy Weatherly!) was build a U to welcome everyone to the table–a safe and inviting space for all.
One of the ways we can do this face to face is OASIS. If you are seeking to connect with like-minded women who value community over competition then OASIS is perfect for you!
OASIS is an actual place of authentic connection where we can meet each other and share our stories in person. My mom, Esther Campanella, and I founded OASIS in 2012 with the desire to have women recharge and renew their souls. It is not a closed circle of women who all know each other, but an open U where everyone has a place and a voice.
WE NEED MORE CONNECTION AND LESS ISOLATION.
MORE INCLUSION AND LESS EXCLUSION.
MORE COMMUNITY LESS COMPARISON.
We meet one evening in June, July, and August. For location, dates, and times, click HERE. Each month, different women come and share their personal stories of turning to God during pivotal points in their lives and how those decisions brought hope, peace, and strength.
These women are going to take off their masks and show us their struggles, their pain, and their insecurities. And by doing so, they will teach us that we are not alone.
YOU MAY KNOW OUR FIRST OASIS SPEAKER!
Most of you will either know or recognize our first OASIS speaker in June, but I am saving this announcement exclusively for my email subscribers! Look for an email later this week with details of our first OASIS speaker and her story.
If you are not yet an email subscriber, read my 5 REASONS TO FOLLOW post, or sign up NOW below.
AT THE CROSSROADS desires to be a U where we always leave space for kindred spirits to join us. You don’t have to be an outsider looking in because there is room for everyone here!