Hard times? Unmet expectations? Broken dreams? Everyone experiences setbacks, detours, and rough patches on the journey of life, but not everyone comes out the same. Do you want to be a victim or a victor? The choice is yours.
VICTIM MENTALITY VS. VULNERABILITY
There is a difference between acknowledging your pain and struggles and being defined by them. Does that make sense?
When we adopt a victim mentality we say things like :
“Bad things always happen to me. I am helpless and hopeless to change anything about my life. I will never achieve my goals or fulfill my dreams.”
When we practice vulnerability we acknowledge:
I am hurting, and life stinks right now, but what is happening to me will not break me or crush my spirit. I understand that my pain can have a purpose even though I may not know what that is yet.
Brene Brown explains why we should embrace vulnerability in her TED Talk, The Power Vulnerability:
“In our culture, we associate vulnerability with emotions we want to avoid such as fear, shame, and uncertainty. Yet we too often lose sight of the fact that vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy, belonging, creativity, authenticity, and love.”Brene Brown
WHAT BEING A VICTIM REALLY MEANS
Webster’s Dictionary defines a victim as:
one that is acted on and usually adversely affected by a force or agent; one that is injured, destroyed, or sacrificed under any of various conditions; one that is subjected to oppression, hardship, or mistreatment; one that is tricked or duped
Here is my simpler, far less sophisticated explanation…
A victim lets life happen to her while a victor makes life happen for her.
I see a victim as someone who has given up control, freedom, and power to the wrong people and to the unexpected and unfortunate circumstances in her life.
HOW TO BECOME A VICTOR
I am not about the give you self empowerment speech of “I am Woman, hear me roar.” That is not how I define a victor.
Instead, I go the Bible and claim the victory I have in Jesus. I hold firm to who God says I am and let go of the lies that lead to fear, shame, and defeat.
“For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.”1 John 5:4 (ESV)
“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here onJohn 16:33 (NLT)
earthyou will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
“But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”1 Corinthians 15:57 (NIV)
MOVING FROM VICTIM TO VICTOR
Let me be brutally honest and tell you that it is easy to play the victim. How do I know? Because I have done it many times throughout my life. You probably have too. Okay, so let’s admit it, let it go, and move on to victory.
For me, it began with chronicling my journey. I called it making my WAY THROUGH THE WILDERNESS.
Through spending time in solitude and prayer, reading and studying the scriptures, and gleaning the wisdom from others who overcame victimhood to become victors, God taught me so much. He gave me eyes to see new things, ears to hear his truth and promises, and a softened heart open to his leading.
I began the journey as a VICTIM but entered the Promised Land as a VICTOR!
By making intentional, purposeful, and often difficult daily choices, I took one painstaking right step after right step to overcoming defeat, despair, and discouragement.
A HELPFUL GUIDE JUST FOR YOU
Are you struggling with the making the choice to be a victim or a
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