What can you say to someone stuck in a messy, miserable middle? Are words even adequate when someone is feeling so hopeless and alone? I believe there are 4 key phrases that can bring comfort to those in the middle.
Many of my friends are going through difficult middles. I know many of YOU are feeling broken and bruised in the middle today.
So in preparation for this Mindful Monday post, I began making a list of words I could say to encourage, build up, and bless those in my life who are struggling and hurting at the crossroads.
Often words seem to fall so short, so we remain silent not knowing what to say or how to say it.
But as a dear friend told me last week often, “the silence can be deafening.”
So, we remain stuck in a kind of middle of our own, right? Fearing opening our mouths and saying the wrong thing or remaining mute and risking the misinterpretation that we really don’t care.
To say or not to say? On which side do we error?
It is true that our words matter.
Words can speak life…or death.
They can build up…or tear down.
Words can encourage…or discourage.
Once spoken, they cannot be unspoken.
On this Mindful Monday I want to choose words and I want you to too. But choose them carefully, prayerfully, and thoughtfully.
I want to reach through the screen today and speak words of grace and truth into your life as you wait in your middle.
Maybe you need to hear them right now.
Or maybe you need to share at least one of these phrases with someone today who might be stuck in a middle of their own.
1) “YOUR PAIN MATTERS.”
God sees you, knows you and loves you…and so do I.
He counts each sorrow. He knows each tear that falls.
Your pain is not insignificant to Him or to me.
God may not take away the pain right now, but He can and will redeem it.
Your pain has a purpose.
Psalm 56: 8 says this about God, “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”
Psalm 34:18 assures us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”
2 Corinthians 1:4, “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”
2) “I HAVE BEEN THERE TOO.”
We all have stuff. We are all sinners and fall short. We all need grace. Yes, we are all in this together.
I get it…your pain, your struggles, your insecurities. You do not need to explain anything to me or to God.
I know what it is like to feel hopeless, helpless, and all alone in the middle…and so does Jesus.
I am no better than you and my middle is not greater or less than yours, but I can empathize and understand.
Jesus knew loss and suffering too and wants to be with you in your middle.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 tells us to,
“…speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind.”
Isaiah 53:3-4 reminds us that Jesus suffered for us, “He was despised and rejected—a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care. Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down.”
1 Corinthians 12:26 reminds us that we are in this together, “If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. If one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance.”
3) “I WILL WAIT WITH YOU.”
I may not know the right thing to say or exactly how to help, but I will be here.
You can count on me to show up. The messiness and brokenness will not scare me away from you.
I will not leave or give up. I am here for you until you get through this and reach the other side.
I will hold your hand and wait with you.
If you want me to talk, be quiet, or just cry with you…that is what I will do.
Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 tells us that, “Two are better than one for they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one can lift up his friend…”
Isaiah 41:10 reminds us that God is there with us too, “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”
4) “I WILL PRAY FOR YOU.”
The best thing I can do for you is to take you to my Jesus.
And whether you know Him or not, He knows you, desires a relationship with you, and wants to fix what is broken.
I promise to pray with you and for you when you cannot pray.
I will pray scripture over you, claiming God’s promises for you.
You can come to me any time with your specific prayer requests and count on me to agree with you in prayer.
Galations 6:2 tells us to, “bear one another’s burdens.”
James 5:16 “…pray for one another that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power while it is working.”
Matthew 18:19-20, “If two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am among them.”
Are there other phrases that you have used or that someone has said to you that have made a difference in your life? Feel free to share them in the comment section below and let the blessing and encouragement spread out from here.
Our words have power, so consider how you can reach out to someone and bring comfort, hope, and healing this week. I challenge you on this Mindful Monday to use your words to speak life and love.
“Good words are worth much and cost little.”
~George Herbert
“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”
~Mother Teresa
I look forward to seeing you back here on Faithful Friday where I will make a printable of the above phrases and verses available to all of my email subscribers as well as announce the 5 winners of the AT THE CROSSROADS framed calligraphy prints!
Amy G says
Words do matter, and you dear Friend have the Gift of not only writing them but also living them.
I’m grateful to have been blessed by hearing you say all four of these phrases in the last few weeks.
I’d add one more to this list: “I’ll be over … with strong coffee.” 🙂
We press on and look forward to seeing where He leads on the “other side” of the Middle.
Grateful for your wise writing and true friendship.
CarlaGasser says
Thank you, dear friend! We share a love of both the written and spoken word (and The Word) which binds our hearts together. You have also spoken words of grace and truth into my life for which I am so very grateful.
And yes, words with strong coffee are always better!
Alison says
Carla, your post was really refreshing this morning. I often struggle with “what to say” and want to encourage others. Your advice was beautifully presented and timely.
CarlaGasser says
Thank you, Alison. I’m thankful that this post helped you. I definitely learned the hard way! I either said too much, not enough, or, sadly, nothing at all. It was only when I went through deep suffering and pain of my own that God opened my eyes…I think He often uses our own losses and struggles to teach us how to respond to others.